One of my friends who, like me, often represents claimants in disability cases tells me that she received a letter from a Hartford employee whose title is now "Ability Analyst."  I love it!  We can have a contest to rename various positions, tools and functions within insurance companies to reflect the new nomenclature.  For example, letters terminating disability benefits can be referred to as "income opportunity notices."  Surveillance videotapes can now go by the term "enabling observations."  Insurance medical examinations and functional capacity evaluations would be "pre-employment interviews."  Try this on for size:

"We are excited to inform you that your pre-employment interviews and our enabling observations allow us, effective immediately, to provide you with this income opportunity notice.  Congratulations!  We wish you the best of luck in your new endeavors dealing with the additional adversities we are privileged to provide you!  Just remember that what does not kill you makes you stronger.  Warmest regards, Weluvu Insurance Co."